I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
