as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
