Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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