tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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