i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
