She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
These tits shall not be calmed
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize