just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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