You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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