My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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