And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
