What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
