White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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