She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize