My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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