Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
