like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
