I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
