you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize