I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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