the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you would pick up someone in the library
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
