What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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