Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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