I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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