btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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