I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
