She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
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At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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