Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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