We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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