I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
