She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize