Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
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Sacagawea was the original milf.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
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I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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