Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
