Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
