You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
