Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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