I hate all girls vehemently.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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