we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Randomize
