bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
