Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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