I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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