is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
