worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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