here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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