I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
