she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
