Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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