guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
