sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
