Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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