Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You've changed since you got that strap on
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
