pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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