I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
this will be a night to untag.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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