if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
