dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
