My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
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Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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