OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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