bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
